"I never married because there was no need.
   I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
   I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
   afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."
   --- Marie Corelli

"Life without you would be like a broken pencil." "How's that?"
       "Completely pointless." -- Blackadder, Series II

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes." 
Oscar Wilde.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. 

Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit. 

    - Edward Abbey