Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband
forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't
admit he'd forgotten the code.....he turned himself in.

                 -Rita Rudner

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a
   woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God the
   Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
   -- Quentin Crisp

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

"Which is better, Freebsd, or Linux?"
"FreeBSD because it has a cooler md5:
 fd861d80cc9153edc2d68a3d67980385 is much better than
 1b61f2a016f7478478fcb13130fcec7b."

-- Daniel Swan, Marc Slemko, comp.unix.bsd.freebsd.misc