There was a young lady of Andover, 
               And the boys used to ask her to hand over 
                    Her sexual favor, 
                    Which she did (may God save her!) 
               For her morals she had no command over. 

By a cozy peat fire in O'Dell, 
               Sat a Scot and a Mick, I hear tell. 
                    "I'm full," cried O'Brien. 
                    Said McLoed,"Well, I'm buyin'." 
               Sure and now, that's a cold day in hell. 

There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in a fright 
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.

There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin his gerkin.
His wife said, "Now Perkin,
Stop jerking your gerkin,
You're shirking your firking, you bastard." 

There once was a gay young Parisian 
            Who came to an awful decision: 
                For his sexual joys 
                He'd have women and boys, 
            And snakes too---and no supervision!