There was a young man named Cattell
                            
                    Who knew psychophysics so well,
                            That each time he shit
                            He'd stop, measure it---
                            
                    It's length, and it's breadth, and it's smell.
                            

There was a young fellow named Cribbs 
            Whose cock was so big it had ribs. 
                They were inches apart, 
                And to suck, it took art, 
            While to fuck, it took forty-two trips. 

A star-gazing fellow named Flipper 
            Had a girl try to open his zipper. 
                As he stared at Orion, 
                The young girl was cryin' 
            As she found it was NOT a Big Dipper. 

There once was a man from New Boston, 
            Who bought a new sportscar--an Austin; 
                There was room for his ass, 
                And a gallon of gas, 
            And his balls hung out till he lost 'em. 

There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well."