There lived in French Louisiana 
               A quaint and deceived old duenna 
                    Who naively thought 
                    That a penis was wrought 
               To be et like a thick ripe banana. 

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all, 
And now he's a college professor.

There was a young singer named Springer, 
               Got his testicles caught in a wringer. 
                    He hollered in pain 
                    As they rolled down the drain, 
               (falsetto): "There goes my career as a singer!" 

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen.
But he found every girl
Had relinguished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.