There was a young barmaid from Yale, 
               On whose bust was written the prices of ale; 
                    And on her behind 
                    For the sake of the blind 
               Was exactly the same, but in braille. 

If you're speaking of actions immoral 
               Then how about giving the laurel 
                    To doughty Queen Esther, 
                    No three men could best her--- 
               One fore, one aft, and one oral. 

There once was a man from Horton,
Who had one long ball and one short one,
To make up for his loss,
He had a cock like a hoss,
And could fart like a 650 Norton.

Sent by Dale

               There was an old scholar named Nick 
               Who wrote Latin and Greek with his prick. 
                    He peed a paean 
                    In the snow by the john 
               In script more than three inches thick. 

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose feet were attached to grease buckets
From trouble he'd hide
With a quick slip n slide
Of responsibility he said, simply, "duck it."

PS So you see, Bill, in America,

*anyone* can grow up to be the President.

sent by Summer Mondeau