There was a young pair from Uganda
Who were having a fuck on a veranda.
The drip from their fucks
Fed forty two ducks,
Three geese, and a fucking big gander. 

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

Everything is gone;

Your life's work has been destroyed.

Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

The parish commission at Roylette 
            Bought their vicar a pristine new toilet. 
                But he still voids his bowels 
                On a heap of old towels, 
            He's so very reluctant to soil it.