I'm Glad I'm a Man



 I'm glad I'm a man, yes I am, I am king
 I don't live off of berries, bob-bons, and rings
 I don't brag to my girlfriends about my infections
 I won't talk to the blind man, concerning directions.

 I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could yell
 I don't shave my hair, wax, or use gel
 I don't buy wonder bras, or girdles or such
 and I don't beg for money to enlarge my bust.

 I'm glad I'm a man, of that I am proud.
 I'm not all bitchy, annoying and loud.
 I won't try to squeeze in jeans three sizes too small.
 My crdit card is still good when I leave from the mall.

 Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see
 I can pee standing up, sitting down, or in a tree
 I don't believe every ad with the word free

 I won't drink diet coke, or eat a rice cake.
 There's no silicone here, my chest isn't fake.
 My face isn't "lifted," my bra isn't stuffed,
 I do what's proper, I leave the toilet seat up.
 
 It doesn't take hours to fix up my hair,
 I don't see the need to use the bathroom in pairs.
 I won't throw a tyrade and then blame PMS.
 I'm a man, and I'm glad I can deal with my stress.

 I have intuition, I never get lost.
 I share household duties, I won't try to be boss.
 I'm a man and with that comes a high sense of class.
 I won't wear a swimsuit that rides up my ass.

 I won't go out at night in a black leather skirt,
 Then slap anybody who just tries to flirt.
 You crazy women scare me, you have lots of gall,
 To make Lorena a hero for hacking off balls.

 I won't cry like a baby when Bambi gets shot
 I don't make up false places, like the infamous "G-spot."
 I'm a man of high faith, its my right to command.
 The bible and God say all women must serve under man.
 I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true--
 I'm glad I'm a man and not a woman like you.

Redneck family tree

     Many many years ago
     when I was twenty three,
     I got married to a widow
     who was pretty as could be.

     This widow had a grown-up daughter
     Who had hair of red.
     My father fell in love with her,
     And soon the two were wed.

     This made my dad my son-in-law
     And changed my very life.
     My daughter was my mother,
     For she was my father's wife.

     To complicate the matters worse,
     Although it brought me joy,
     I soon became the father
     Of a bouncing baby boy.

     My little baby then became
     A brother-in-law to dad.
     And so became my uncle,
     Though it made me very sad.

     For if he was my uncle,
     Then that also made him brother
     To the widow's grown-up daughter
     Who, of course, was my step-mother.

     Father's wife then had a son,
     Who kept them on the run.
     And he became my grandson,
     For he was my daughter's son.

     My wife is now my mother's mother
     And it makes me blue.
     Because, although she is my wife,
     She's my grandmother too.

     If my wife is my grandmother,
     Then I am her grandchild.
     And every time I think of it,
     It simply drives me wild.

     For now I have become
     The strangest case you ever saw.
     As the husband of my grandmother,
      I am my own grandpa!

There's a man in the Bible portrayed 
            As one deeply engrossed in his trade. 
                He became quite elated 
                Over things he created, 
            Especially the women he made. 

There was a young lady of Arden, 
                                        Who s----d off a man in a garden. 
                                                      He said, "My dear Flo, 
                                                      Where does that stuff go?" 
                                        And she said, "(swallow hard)-- I beg pardon?" 
                                                                                                                                      1932 

Something  --  by Beatles
---------
Something in the way it fails,
Defies the algorithm's logic!
Something in the way it coredumps...

I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this problem somehow

Somewhere in the memory I know,
A pointer's got to be corrupted.
Stepping in the debugger will show me...

I don't want to leave it now
I'm too close to leave it now

You're asking me can this code go?
I don't know, I don't know...
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don't know, I don't know...

Something in the initializing code?
And all I have to do is think of it!
Something in the listing will show me...

I don't want to leave it now
I'll fix this tonight I vow!