Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley 
            Who esteemed her late husband so highly 
                That in spite of the scandal, 
                Her umbrella handle 
            Was made of his membrum virile. 

               There was a young man from Nantucket 
               Took a pig in a thicket to fuck it. 
                    Said the pig, "Oh, I'm queer, 
                    Get away from my rear. . . 
               Come around to the front and I'll suck it." 

               I sat next to the Duchess at tea. 
               It was just as I feared it would be: 
                    Her rumblings abdominal 
                    Were simply phenomenal, 
               And everyone thought it was me. 

   I came here
   To shit and stink,
   But all I do
   Is sit and think.


  

A shapely young lady name Jenna 
            Colored her pubics with henna. 
                On a beach she was crude 
                And sunbathed in the nude. 
            She was promptly invited to dinner.