There once were two ladies from Birmingham 
               That dealy with matters not concerning them. 
                    They reached under the robes 
                    And tickled the globes 
               Of the bishop that then was confirming them 

               Now this bishop he wasn't a fool, 
               He knew what to do with that duel. 
                    He whipped off his britches 
                    And gave those two bitches 
               A foot of episcople tool. 

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

There was a young girl, very sweet, 
               Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat. 
                    When she sat on their lap 
                    She unbuttoned their flap. 
               And always had plenty to eat. 

Here I sit Same as ever
Dirty arse, got no paper
Boss is calling,
Can not linger
Stuff it, I'll use me finger

Sent by Sarah

There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!