While spending the winter at Pau 
               Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." 
                    So the head-porter made her 
                    The second-cook laid her; 
               The waiters were all hanging low. 

When she wanted a new way to futter 
               He greased her behind with butter; 
                    Then, with a sock, 
                    In went his jock, 
               And they carried her home on a shutter. 

There once was a lady named Hix 
            Who was fond of sucking big pricks. 
                One fellow she took 
                Was a doctor named Snook, 
            Now he's in a hell of a fix. 

I met her on the internet and I couldn't keep from staring
She had the coolest font I'd ever seen
She was Microsoft, mathmatical, and IBM compatible
And fireworks exploded on my screen
Well, my cursor started blinking like the beating of my heart
And my modem started singing, thinking this could be the start
Chorus:
Of a Techie Love -- between us
With the latest gadgetry
Techie love can be the sweetest
world wide web we weave

Well I courted her with e-mail and with roses from my clip art
I sent romantic faxes everyday
Though I'm kinda shy to tell, heck, I wrote poems that I spell checked
And I bought her software from Comp USA
We were wonderful together how she made me feel so fine 
And we planned a simple wedding on America On-Line

Chorus: And there was techie love between us.......

Then one day there was lightning and it caused some power surges
And you should have seen the look upon my face
Cause I wasn't surge protected, or backed up like you'd expect, it
blew my files somewhere out to cyberspace
Well now nothing lasts forever, I know even good things pass,
So I knew that it was over on the day the hard drive crashed
Chorus: On the techie love between us.......

She's gone, and it megahertz
It's like a virus, only worse
She's gone, but I can't wait
I'll get a new computer that has windows Y2K

Chorus: And there'll be techie love........

c 1998 Mark Hankins

There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is.