On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic 
light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. 

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa 
bring that to you?" 

The kid says, "Yeah." 

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on 
that bike." 

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety 
violation ticket. 

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, 

"By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring 
that to you?" 

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." 

The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick 
underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Q.  what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then rec
rosses
A. a dirty crosser

Sent by Corey

Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice
mail. People don't call you just because they want to give
you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU
to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail
message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond
during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks
like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're
being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method
of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when
nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that the
caller will give up or look for a solution that doesn't
involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever
hear is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your
voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can
hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to
do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that
takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers
will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox
is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in
high demand.

        AGE        DRINK
        17         beer
        25         beer
        35         vodka
        48         double vodka
        66         Maalox

There was a young girl called Anna,
Who was rather good with a spanner.
A boy gave her a knock,
So she grabbed his big cock,
And he now has a whole different manner!


Sent by Louise