A worried patient went to his psychiatrist.
"I'm in love with my horse," he said.
"But that's nothing," replied the shrink. "A lot of people love animals. 
For instance, my wife and I have a dog that we love very much."
"Ah, but doctor," the patient replied. "It's a sexual attraction that I 
feel toward my horse."
"Ahhh!" exclaimed the doc. "What kind of a horse is it? Male or female?"
"Female, of course," said the bloke. "What do you think I am, a faggot!"

Q: What was the last thing to go through Cobain's mind?
A: The roof of his mouth.

A guy hears a knocking on his door.  He opens it up, and no
one is there.  He looks all around and he finally sees a
little snail sitting on the doormat.  He picks it up and
throws it across the street into a field.

Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on his
door.  He opens it up and no one is there.

He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail
sitting on the doormat.

The snail looks up and says, "What the hell was that all
about?"

   Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he sees a sign that
   says, "Cow For Sale...$5000."
   
   He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth
   five thousand dollars."
   
   The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."
   
   He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a snatch just like
   a woman.
   
   Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says, "It's just
   not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a snatch like a woman,
   and it's worth $5000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a
   cow, and you're not worth shit."
   

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.

"I've got a beaut cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I 
have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet 
blowjob. Never fails."

A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my 
headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is 
nice, too!"