After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed 
out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in 
the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with 
you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am !!!" Lori fumed. 
"You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that 
clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for 
position."

Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost 
all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a 
bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an 
even facial tan. After several days she decided that no one could see her 
way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd 
hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying 
on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, 
miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of 
breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing 
on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit 
as you have for the past week." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked 
rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a 
towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on 
the dining room skylight!" 

Q: What has four legs and eight arms?

A: A pit-bull terrier at a children's play area. 

It's the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class,
"If anyone has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers."
After a moment of quiet thought, Little Johnny asked: "How will that 
help?" 

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. 

Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new 
Viagra?"

Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."

"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies. 

"Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you 
have no one worth writing to."