Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer
     
   
Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted
thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by
accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide
do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe
tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating
and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body
electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO
withdrawl means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

1. is also know as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain
2. contributes to the "greenhouse effect"
3. may cause severe burns
4. contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape
5. accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
6. may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of
   automobile brakes
7. has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients

CONTAMINATION IS REACHING EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream,
lake and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the
contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused
millions of dollars in property damage in the Midwest, and recently
California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

- as an industrial solvent and coolant
- in nuclear power plants
- in the production of styrofoam
- as a fire retardant
- in many forms of cruel animal research
- in the distribution of pesticides; even after washing, produce remains
  contaminated by this chemical
- as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be
done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on
wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

THE HORROR MUST BE STOPPED!

The American government has refused to ban the production and
distribution chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of
this nation". In fact, the navy and other military organizations are
conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar
devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of
military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly
sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large
quantities for later use.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE!

Act NOW to prevent further contamination!
  

   "Winnie The ????"

   It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class.
   The
   teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one
   thing
   they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to
   the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got.
   "My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said.
   The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the
   correct
   words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl
   to
   try again. The girl thinks real hard ........
   "My dad got me a dog," she said.
   She sat down and a boy got up and said, "I got a choo-choo!"
   The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought
   hard
   and said, "I got an electric train!!"
   That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says,
   "I got a book" The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks,
   "What was the title of the book??"
   The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking.
   Finally, the boys face brightened and he said,
   "Winnie The Shit!!"

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?

The white one got away. 

Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. So
they plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-old
says he'll use the world HELL and tells the 6-year-old to use ASS.
Well, the next morning they head downstairs for breakfast. And when their
mother asks them what they want, the 8-year-old says, "Ah, Hell, I'll have
some Fruit Loops."
Shocked, the mother wheels around and backhands him on his
chair, sending him screaming back upstairs. She then turns to the 6-year-old
and says, "What are you going to have?" He replies, "I don't know, but
you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Fruit Loops."

   Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn,
   licking his balls.
   
   One guy says to the other, " Man, I sure wish I could do that".
   
   The other guy says, " Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"