To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells 
her it'll make her fat. “I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter. 
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. “If I bite my 
fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" “You'll be fatter than 
that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a 
very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's 
belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this 
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, “Excuse me, 
but do you know me?" And the little girl says, “No, but I know what you've 
been doing..."

Sent by Max

A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him 
what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. 
Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky 
and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all 
buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers.... 
they..."
Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."
Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to 
ex-models and ex-actresses."
Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and 
over again, until you're perfect at it."

Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.
The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL!
The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The
second little old lady had a little stroke. 

The third little old lady would have had a
stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough. 

Jon starts working in a lumber camp.  The boss says, "We 
work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at 
ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for 
a blow job any day but Thursday."

Jon says, "Why not Thursday?"

The boss says, "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel."

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police.
'What are those knives doing in your car?' asked the officer.
'I juggle them in my act.'
Oh yeah?' says the cop. 'Let's see you do it.'
So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.
A guy driving by sees this and says, 'Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look
at the test they're making you do now!'