Once upon a time, a woman complained to her doctor that she and her
   husband never had sex anymore. So the doctor gave her a bottle of
   pills and told her to put them in his drink and she would be
   'satisfied.'
   
   The woman, somewhat disbelievingly, put one pill in his coffee that
   evening. That night they made out.
   
   The next morning, she put two in his coffee, and that night they
   really got it on.
   
   The next day, she said, "What the hell," and put the entire bottle in.
   
   A few days later, the doctor called to check on her progress. The
   woman's son answered the phone. When the doctor asked how she was
   doing, the son replied, "Mom's dead; Sis is pregnant; my asshole
   hurts, and Dad is out naked on the front lawn yelling 'Here kitty,
   kitty.'"
   

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi
leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?"

The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop."

"Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi.

"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might
be made an ArchBishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously.

"Is there any way that you might go higher than that?"

"If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal"

"Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi.

Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could be
elected Pope, but..."

So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?,
is there any way to go up from being the Pope?"

"What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!"

The Rabbi leaned back and said "One of our boys made it." 

Back in the turn of the century in a mining town out west,
a woman walked into a saloon.  Suddenly she realised that
she was not in the general store so she started to turn
around and leave.  As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy
seated at the bar noticed her and said to the woman, "Come
on over, Ma'am, sit yerself down right here next to me and
have yerself a drink.
"Thank you kindly Sir, but I'm afraid that I couldn't,"
replied the woman, "on account that I need to get bread."
The cowboy replied, "Uh, Ma'am, I do reckon you came to the
right place for that!"

SAT score decay


As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.
The following may be the reason why.

A math problem in the 60's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this 
price. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of porduction is four-fifths of this 
price, or $80. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's using New Math
A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, 
and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of 
the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question: 
What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?

A math problem in the 80's
A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is 
$20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.

A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education.
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of 
living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)

What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?

It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.