This story occurred on Melbourne radio some time ago. One of the FM 
stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three 
personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three 
questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas 
holiday. Last week the competition went like this: 

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? 
Brian:Yeah, sure. 
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? 
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. 
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? 
Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. 
Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? 
Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. 
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! 
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. 
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter).
Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? 
Brian: Yeah, alright. 

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? 
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. 
Presenter: (Explains competition again)
We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. 
Sharelle: Hi Brian. 
Brian: Hi Sharelle. 
Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions 
we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to 
Bali. 
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. 
Sharelle: O.K. 
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. 
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. 
Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for 
Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. 
Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. 
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. 
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. 
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway..
just tell em. 
Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass!

Radio Silence 

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There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had 
a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the 
dormitories prior to a certain date. 

Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head 
early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories 
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing 
could be done. 

After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the 
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's 
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the 
message,

"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"

A couple I know recently adopted a Chinese baby girl, and were showing her
to friends. A neighbor came by to admire the baby, and asked, "But what
will you do when she gets older and starts speaking Chinese?"