CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS

"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because
they paid good money for them."  (Dave, 8)

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor
call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Too many deer were hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.

"Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically
   to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets
   and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is
   to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to
   test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about
   the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new
   high-speed trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired,
   the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel,
   crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
   crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest
   in two and embedded itself in the back of the cabin. Horrified, the
   Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with
   the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for
   suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the
   chicken."