The other day, I was told that the reason why women wear bright-red
lipstick is for men to subliminally think of the other set of lips.

I was told that from a girl who was wearing bright-red lipstick

Sent by Yasha

I came home from work one day and my mother was making 
french fries in a Fry Daddy fryer.  I saw her taking out 
soggy french fries and I asked her why is she taking them 
out when they weren't done.  She said the oil keeps 
bubbling up and making a mess.  I just ignored her and went 
into the other room and started to watch Sally Jessy 
Raphael on t.v.  Then I remembered my daughter had just 
refilled my sons bubble blower and the gallon jug you buy 
from Toys R Us looks just like the gallon of oil.  Well 
sure enough.  We almost had bubble fries for dinner. You 
should have seen all the bubbles all over the place.  My 
mother is not usually this senile but this day she outdid 
herself!

Sent by Carol

The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable
thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a
red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that
wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the
windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on
my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the
windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it
slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't
get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car
behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was
forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what
had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears.
He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up for flipping me
the bird.

Sent by Matt