Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of 
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running 
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably 
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was 
Ms. Robertson's son.

Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. University? 

The scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew up. 
The scientist are trying to determine what went wrong by sifting 
through the Rhesus' pieces.

Last night my spouse was berating me for wanting to check my 
email as soon as I got home from work. "You know", she 
complained, "I think that work rules your life".

"No dear," I replied, "_you_ rule my life. I just prefer work."