"You don't change the way people think by changing what they say. You
 change the way people think with HEADLESS CHARRED BODIES FLYING THROUGH
 THE AIR. BLOOD! FLAMES! HELLFIRE AND DAMNATION!"
                        -- Alastair J. R. Young

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do
what you'd druther not. 

    -- Mark Twain

Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Sorry, my mind was wandering.  One time my mind went all the way to Venus on
mail order and I couldn't pay for it.

"I think my favourite word at the moment is 'sphincter'. People have been
 using it a lot lately and it's starting to grow on me."
                        -- Karen Peisley