If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

                                                          -- George Bernard Shaw

(speaking of his family's habit of laughing over his father's drunken
escapades)

"Happy is the one who eats not the yellow snow."

                          on a Bazuka Bubble Gum Wrapper

"Here lies... Walt Whitman.  Aaargh!  Damn you Walt Whitman! 
I... hate... you... Walt...freakin... Whitman, leaves of
grass my ass!" 

Homer Simpson 

Military intelligence is an oxymoron. I 
mean, if they were so intelligent, why 
don't they just avoid wars in the first 
place?

Sent by Todd

"When life hands you a lemon, say 'Oh yeah, I _like_ lemons, what else
 ya got??'"
                        -- Henry Rollins