What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? 

     - W.C. Fields 

"Home pages are the pet rock of the 90s. They all have them, they all think
 they're very cute. But in a few years they're going to look back and be
 pretty embarrassed."
                        -- Kim Alm

God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent --
it says so right here in the label. If you have a mind
capable of believing all three of these divine attributes
simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.
No checks, please. Cash, and in small bills.

     - Lazarus Long 

I never let schooling interfere with my education

                                           --Mark Twain

  

The English think soap is civilization.

                                   - - - Heinrich von Treitschke