There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry or cakes,
But lived upon penis *au gratin*.

               A musician who lives in Bangkok 
               Has fiddle strings tied to his cock. 
                    When he gets an erection, 
                    He plays a selection 
               From Johan Sebastian Bach. 

There was a young girl from Sofire.
               Who succumbed to her lover's desire. 
                    She said, "It's a sin, 
                    But now that it's in, 
               Could you shove it a few inches higher?" 

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 

As His Holiness signed my petition 
               He said,"I take this position: 
                    Here shines a clean mind, 
                    For nowhere can I find 
               A single lubricious omission!"