There was a young girl named Maxine
                            
                    Whose vagina was wondrously clean:
                            With her uterus packed
                            She kept safe from attack
                            
                    With a dill pickle, papulous, green.
                            

There was a young harlot named Schwartz
Whose cock-pit was studded with warts,
        And they tickled so nice
        She drew a high price
From the studs at the summer resorts.

Her pimp, a young fellow named Biddle,
Was seldom hard up for a diddle,
        For according to rumor
        His tool had a tumor
And a fine row of warts down the middle.

There was a young lady from Kent,
When her husband's pecker it bent,
She said with a sigh,
"Oh, why must it die?
Let's fill it with Portland Cement." 

Stuffing the turkey at Christmas
Reminded me of you
The melons in the market
The pears and peaches too
Cracking open Christmas nuts
Brought memories of your gentle touch
But all the while it hurt so much
'cos I'm still in love with you...


Copyright: D. Harvey 1998.

There was young man named Pete
Who was a bit indiscrete.
He pulled on his dong
Till it grew very long
And actually dragged in the street