There was a young fellow named Oakum
               Whose brags about fucking were hokum, 
                    For he really preferred 
                    To suck cocks and stir turd--- 
               He was Queen of the Flits in Hoboken. 

There once was a lady from Pinner
Whose boyfriend wanked on her dinner
She said if you please
I don't mind some cream teas
But I like my white sauce a bit thinner 

There was a young lady named White 
            Found herself in a terrible plight: 
                A mucker named Tucker 
                Had struck her, the fucker--- 
            The bugger, the bastard, the shite! 

There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

Part 6 of 12
   
                    Spurred on by a very high wager
                            
                    With an envious German named Bager,
                            He'd proceeded to fart
                            The complete oboe part
                            
                    Of a Hayden Octet in B-Major.