There once was a fellow named Siegel 
               Who attempted to bugger a beagle, 
                    But the mettlesome bitch 
                    Turned and said with a twitch, 
               "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." 

There was a young Georgian named Lynd 
               Who'd never in all his life sinned, 
                    For whenever he'd start 
                    He'd be jarred by a fart, 
               And his semen was gone with the wind. 

There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 

There was an old Abbot of Khief 
               Who thought the Inpenitent Thief 
                    Had bollocks of brass 
                    And an amethyst ass. 
               He died in this awful belief. 

Said a girl being had in a shanty, 
"My dear, you have got it in slanty." 
He replied, "I can use 
Any angle I choose. 
I ride as I please---I'm Duranty!"