There was a young man of the Tweed 
               Who sucked his wife's arse thro' a reed. 
                    When she had diarrhoea 
                    He'd let none come near, 
               For fear they should poach on his feed. 

               There was a young lady from France 
               Supposed to play at a dance, 
                    She ate a banana 
                    And played the piano 
               And music came out of her pants. 

There was an old man of Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
He fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And he came through a hole in his tooth. 

As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.

            There was a young brother monastic 
            Whose penis was somewhat elastic. 
                So when it uncoiled, 
                With a snap it recoiled, 
            Interrupting his studies scholastic.