The was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp.
When asked "did it hurt",
He said "No, not a bit,
It can do it again if it wants."

There was a young fellow named Malcolm 
            Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum. 
                He'd always use it 
                Everytime that he shit, 
            And found the sensation quite welcome. 

                    There was a young girl of Penzance
                            
                    Who boarded a bus in a trance.
                            The passengers fucked her,
                            Likewise the conductor.
                            
                    The driver shot off in his pants.
                            
                                              

The typists in Wheesley and Beesley
All fornicate keenly and eas'ly,
In this pleasant way
They add to their pay
Which in Wheesley and Beesley is measly

There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
            Whose sexual equipment was so simple 
                That on examination they found 
                Little more than a mound 
            In the center of which was a dimple.