When she wanted a new way to futter 
               He greased her behind with butter; 
                    Then, with a sock, 
                    In went his jock, 
               And they carried her home on a shutter. 

There once was a eunuch of Roylem, 
               Took two eggs to the cook and said, "Boil 'em. 
                    I'll sling 'em beneath 
                    My inadequate sheath, 
               And slip into the harem and foil 'em." 

            Have you heard of the Widow O'Riley 
            Who esteemed her late husband so highly 
                That in spite of the scandal, 
                Her umbrella handle 
            Was made of his membrum virile. 

There once was old Chinese drunk,
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk. 

A seamstress at Epping-on-Tyne 
               Used to peddle her tail down the line. 
                    She first got a crown, 
                    But her prices went down--- 
               Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine.