A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested,
then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:"Ok.
I'll let him pass, there's no hurry. Two minutes later
another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but
two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped
him:"What's going on out there?" it asked. "Why, there's a
party going on!! It's great! They're having the most fun!!"
the whiskey replied.
And pizza said: "Great, I'll go check it out!"

How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".

Benefits of having Alzheimer's:

   You can wrap your own presents.
   You are always meeting new friends.

What is New Jersey's state bird?


                    The common House Fly.

This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what
to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up
and says, "Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s'pposed to take that thing you play
with and put it where I pee!"

...So he got his bowling bowl and threw it in the outhouse!