Biology Class

   In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose
   levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and
   asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as
   in sugar
   in male semen?"
   "That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical
   info.
   Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
   sweet?"
   After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
   girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she
   had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
   without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned.
   However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was
   classic....
   Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste
   sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
   tongue and not the back of your throat."

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else 
in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the 
bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE 
DAYS before they figured it OUT. 

And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs 
despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 
SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light 
bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to 
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! 
AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT 
BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! 

BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER 
WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP 
THROGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. 

THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS... I'm sorry...what did 
you ask me?

A guy is screwing a great looking blonde. 
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?" 
He replies, "No." 
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again...!"

You know what that little red dot means in the middle of an Indian woman's forehead? 
............................"Coffee's ready."

   There is a pit-bull, bull-dog, and a black lab all locked up in the
   local dog pound. The pit-bull decides to speak freely and says, "Ya
   know, it wasn't my fault I bit that kid's head off. Them kids have
   been throwing rocks at me for years and I just couldn't help but jump
   the fence one day and go after them. Now they are going to put me to
   sleep."
   
   The bull-dog speaks up and says, "I'm in for a similar incident. My
   master just wasn't paying any attention to me since that stinkin baby
   came along and one day while it was crawlin around on the floor I bit
   its leg off. Now they are going to put me to sleep too."
   
   Both the pit-bull and bull-dog look at the black lab and ask, "What
   are you in for?"
   
   The lab replies, "Well the other day my master's lady was walking
   around the house naked all day long cleaning the house. When she went
   into the bathroom and bent over to clean the tub I just couldn't take
   it anymore. I came up behind her, put my front paws on her back and
   mounted her."
   
   The pit-bull asks, "So when are you due to be put to sleep?"
   
   And the lab replies, "Oh, I'm not in to be put to sleep, I'm just in
   to have my nails trimmed and groomed."