A man calls his family doctor:

man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.

doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.

man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her. 

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his 
friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"

The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits 
on top, and I bob her up and down."

His friend says, "You know, that don't sound too bad."

The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got 
somebody to talk to."

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He 
stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. 
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No 
sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he 
said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and 
flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, 
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the 
hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."

Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A. Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob !

Moe: My wife converted me to religion.
Joe: Really?
Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.