If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything
about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build
your own toaster.

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly
rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-
influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out
of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five
different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front
seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone
left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and
began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver,
read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The
results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded
to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm
the Designated Decoy." 

   A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the
   checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "Your husband is
   suffering from severe, long-term stress and it's affecting his
   cardiovascular system. He's a good candidate for either a heart attack
   or a stroke. If you don't do the following four things, your husband
   will surely die".
   
   "First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to
   work in a good mood."
   
   "Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him
   in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work."
   
   "Third, for dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden him
   with household chores."
   
   "Fourth, and most important for invigorating him and relieving stress,
   have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim in
   bed."
   
   On the way home in the car, the husband turned to his wife and asked,
   "So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What
   did he tell you?"
   
   "You're going to die," she replied.
   

Two buddies get together and decide to
go to a whorehouse, one of them tired of
doing it with his wife all the time, the
other not having it done for a long time.
 Anyways the married one goes up and
comes down and says " My wife is much
better".  "Allright" goes the other guy,
" Let me go try the same woman."
Well he goes and screws the whore,
comes than says to his buddy,  " You are
right man, Your wife is much better."

AND YET ANOTHER DRUMMER JOKE!

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? 

Drool.