What is white and streaks across the sky? 

The coming of the Lord. 

Two very hot-headed people lived directly across the halls from each
other.  Dave got a piece of 1/2" rope and tied their doors together with
about a 6" gap of slack.  Waited until 2:30am and knocked REALLY HARD on
both doors.

Interesting way to wake up...having two steaming mad football jerks
slamming each other's doors open and shut.  The Resident Advisor was NOT
pleased :-)

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement
park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The
ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
     "What would you like to do next?" he asked.
     "I wanna be weighed," she said. So the young man
took her over to the weight guesser.
"One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he was
absolutely right.
     Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he
bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked
what else she would like to do.
     "I wanna be weighed," she said.
     I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought
the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a
headache, he took the girl home.
     The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so
early, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a
nice time tonight?"
     "Wousy," said the girl.

What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?? 

The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back. 

A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came 
to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful 
Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way 
home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they 
each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the 
registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?" 
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or 
so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him".