Tech Support:    "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

Anything for an A



     A student comes to a young professor's office hours.  She
glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
     "I would do *anything* to pass this exam."  She leans closer
to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
     "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...*anything*."
     He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice softens. "*Anything*??"
     "*Anything*."
     His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...*study*?"

                                 - A TRUE STORY (FROM DARTMOUTH)

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.