English comedian John Cleese, of Monty Python fame, was asked to describe 
the difference between British and American people. In reply Cleese said 
that there were three basic differences from the British viewpoint: 

1. "We speak English and you don't."
2. "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite 
teams from other countries to play, as well."
3. "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go 
down on one knee."

English comedian John Cleese, of Monty Python fame, was asked to describe 
the difference between British and American people. In reply Cleese said 
that there were three basic differences from the British viewpoint: 

1. "We speak English and you don't."
2. "When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite 
teams from other countries to play, as well."
3. "When you meet the head of state in Great Britain, you only have to go 
down on one knee."

The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the 
posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya 
from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in 
Columbia."

The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, 
"Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."