A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's 
final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not 
showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate 
family member's death. 

One smart ass student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", 
and the whole classroom burst into laughter. After the laughter had 
subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse,
you can just use your other hand to write."

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold." At
this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you
called God 'Harold?'
The little boy looked up and said, "That's His name. You know,
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."