It works better if you plug it in.

"I just woke up, I'm 40 miles from my car and I can't remember where I left my
 trousers. I think I'm going to be a little late."
                        -- Someone's employee, rec.humor.funny

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
   prison for three years, not Princeton."
   -Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
   with promoter Don King

"The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." 

Albert Einstein.

"People are always playing with my things."
                        -- Brett "Bwettles" Hayne