"Living in a vacuum sucks." -- Adrienne E. Gusoff

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to
       take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an
       old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned
       down." He cried and cried, but I think deep down he thought it was
       a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real
       Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

"Will administer ISO 9000 and year 2000 certification tests for food."
                        -- Simon Slavin

"Basses like Altos.
 Altos like Basses.
 Tenors like Tenors.
 Sopranos like discos."
                        -- Choral relationships explained by Eric the Fruitbat
                                (aka Paul Sleigh, fruitbat@matra.com.au)

"She sure is a striking beauty."
"You said it! She slapped me twice."