You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this 
look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"

                -Dave Barry

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who
haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." 

    - Jim Harrison 

A bath is something you take when you find yourself in
hot water.

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. 

    - Geraldo Rivera

"Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told"