For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass. 

There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.

Have you heard of young Franchot Tone 
               Who felt of his own peculiar bone? 
                    It was long and quite narrow 
                    And filled full of marrow, 
               And less edible than stale corn pone. 

A clever inventor named Krupp 
            Wore a belt when he wanted to tup. 
                His mighty dry cells 
                Made her tits buzz like bells, 
            And lighted the hall-entrance up. 

There was a young man named McFee
Who was stung in the balls by a bee.
He made oodles of money
By oozing pure honey
Every time he attempted to pee.