A fellow whose surname was Hunt 
               Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: 
                    This versatile spout 
                    Could be turned inside out, 
               Like a glove, and be used as a cunt. 

A phenomenal fellow named Preston 
               Has a hair-padded lower intestine. 
                    Though exceedingly fine 
                    In the buggery line, 
               It isn't much good for digestin'. 

To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! 
            Your cunt is as big as a dish!" 
                She replied, "Why, you fool, 
                With your limp little tool 
            It's like driving a nail with a fish!" 

There was a young lady of Bicester
Who was a lot far nicer than her sister.
The sister would giggle
And wiggle and jiggle,
But this one would come when you kissed her. 

            Remember those two of Aberystwyth 
            Who connected the things that they pissed with? 
                She sat on his lap 
                But they both had the clap, 
            And they cursed with the things that they kissed with.