There was a young lady named Shriver 
            Who was screwed in the ass by the driver, 
                And when she complained 
                He said, "Sorry you were pained," 
            And gave her a fiver to bribe her. 

There was a young girl from Seattle 
            Who got her kicks sucking off cattle, 
                'til a bull from the South 
                Popped a load in her mouth 
            That made both her ovaries rattle. 

A young lady from South Carolina 
               Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina. 
                    What, with proper sized cocks, 
                    Once was sex, became Bach's 
               Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor. 

                    There was a young man of Loch Leven
                            
                    Who went for a walk about seven.
                            He fell into a pit
                            That was brimful of shit,
                            
                    And now the poor bugger's in heaven.
                            

There was a young girl of Tonga
Used to diddle herself with a conga.
When asked how it feels
To be pleasured by eels,
She said, "just like a man, only longer."