There is a professor named Martin 
                                        From whom I'm about to be partin', 
                                                      And on my way out, 
                                                      He may here me shout, 
                                        "It's your face I'd sure like to fart in." 

               There was a young lady of Andover, 
               And the boys used to ask her to hand over 
                    Her sexual favor, 
                    Which she did (may God save her!) 
               For her morals she had no command over. 

There was a young lady named Rackstraw,
Titillated herself with a hack-saw.
As a result of this action
She no longer has traction,
And a penis feels just like a jackstraw.

Oh, that supple young man of Montrose 
               Who tickled his tail with his toes! 
                    His landlady said, 
                    As she made up his bed, 
               "My God! How that man blows his nose!" 

                    There once was a lass from Seattle
                            
                    Who had a habit of sucking off cattle,
                            'Till a bull from the south
                            Shot a load in her mouth
                            
                    And made her ovaries rattle!