There was a young man in Norway, 
               Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, 
                    But the air was so frigid 
                    It froze his balls rigid, 
               And all he could come was frappe. 

            It's a helluva fix that we're in 
            When the geographical spread of the urge to sin 
                Causes juvenile delinquency 
                With increasing frequency 
            By the Army, the Navy, and Errol Flynn. 

There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who was fucked by an elderly Finn. 
                    Though he diddled his best, 
                    And fucked her with zest, 
               She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?" 

There once was a man of Belfast
Whose balls out of iron were cast.
He managed somehow
To bugger a sow,
Thus you get pig-iron, at last. 

                    For the prick-naming prize of Pinole
                            
                    This year's winner was Daniel O'Dole.
                            He will tell you with bonhommie,
                            "I call mine 'Metonymy,'
                            
                    Because it's a part for the whole."