Dr. Seuss Meets Fornigate
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I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?

I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that anywhere!
I did not do that in a chair!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join -- even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow your feathers and your tar,
I did not do her Starr you are!

Did you smile?
Did you Flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?

That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you Starr you are!
I will not answer any more!
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!

By a cozy peat fire in O'Dell, 
               Sat a Scot and a Mick, I hear tell. 
                    "I'm full," cried O'Brien. 
                    Said McLoed,"Well, I'm buyin'." 
               Sure and now, that's a cold day in hell. 

There was an old sculptor named Phidias 
            Whose knowledge of art was invidious. 
                He carved Aphrodite 
                Without any nightie--- 
            Which startled the purely fastidious. 

There was a young gal from Montana
Who had an affair with a banana.
She hugged it and squeezed it,
Loved it and teased it, and said
"It tastes better than a mana." 

There once was a woman from Wheeling
Who had a funny feeling
So she laid on her back
And tickled her crack,
And peed all over the ceiling!