There was an old man of Decatur, 
               Took out his red-hot pertater. 
                    He tried at her dent, 
                    But when his thing bent, 
               He got down on his knees and he ate 'er. 

My face in the mirror
                isn't wrinkled or drawn;
        My house isn't dirty,
                the cobwebs are gone.
        My garden looks lovely,
                and so does my lawn;
        I think I might never
                put my glasses back on!

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose feet were attached to grease buckets
From trouble he'd hide
With a quick slip n slide
Of responsibility he said, simply, "duck it."

PS So you see, Bill, in America,

*anyone* can grow up to be the President.

sent by Summer Mondeau


  

There was a young man of Tyburnia 
               Who was fucking a girl with a hernia. 
                    When he shot in her twat 
                    Why, she also shot--- 
               All over him! Wouldn't that burn ya? 

There was a young lady of Spain 
Who took down her pants on a train. 
There was a young porter 
Saw more than he orter, 
And asked her to do it again.