There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam.
It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and
young George was pretty excited.
"Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?" asked George.
"George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined up
at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice
orderly fashion." said Sam.
"Okay, I can do that." George answered. 
Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam
said and George was all excited to go down there, but Sam had a few more
instructions.
"Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end and
you can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle" said Sam.
"OK, OK, let's go!" said George.
"Hang on George!. One more important thing to remember. These gals will
let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?"
said Sam.
"Sure" says George.
Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one
end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remember's Sam's
instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to
say - "Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am,
thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am."

One joke that we did in residence was the Chinese Fire Drill,
I don't quite know why it is called that. Anyway..

The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket
(we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with
water. Take a paper bag and set it on fire, toss it under the door into the
stall. Yell fire as everyone tosses the water into the stall. Needless to say
the fire as well as the victim get very wet.

This one fellow in the house was hit a number of times and took to relieving
himself in other locals. We followed him a couple of times and nailed him
in many parts of the residence.

Later of course we conspired with our victim to get back at the
original instigator of the drill. The guy in the stall had a bucket of water,
and when the the instigator tossed the bag in we all hit him.

Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he 
wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he 
wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, 
bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with his teeth. The farmer said, 
"This one will go a little over a 100". Astonished the Yankee said, "Who 
are you trying to fool? You can't weigh a pig that way". The farmer 
laughed and called to his young son, "Boy, come over here and weigh that 
pig for this man". The boy obliged by bending over and picking up the pig 
by its tail with his teeth. Turning to his father the boy said, " This 
here pig weighs about 100 pounds". The Yankee was having no part of this 
so in order to convince him the farmer told his son to go to the house and 
get his mother so she could weigh the pig. After a short delay the son 
returned and said, "Ma says she will be right down after she's finished 
weighing the mailman". 

Q: Why do cavemen drag women by the hair instead of ankles?
A: So they don't fill up with rocks!!!

Here's a gross one:


What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?

They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.